Love Makes Us Stronger- Looking Back At #EdSer -Part 4
if you were born with
the weakness to fall
you were born with
the strength to rise
-rupi kaur
Eda and Serkan’s love story is full of ups and downs. At the moment while we are waiting for episode 36, we feel exhausted for them, facing different challenges constantly and having to deal with people who end up hurting them in the name of love.
In SÇK the importance of true love is emphasized with the contrast of characters who don’t know how to love. This method will also be used in the future episodes which we are watching right now. Today while we touch upon episodes 14–17 it will be more evident how true love gives us a strength therefore it’s easy to differentiate it from other feelings that sometimes get confused with love. If you missed the first 3 articles of this series check them here, here and here.
True love is not selfish, codependent and impatient. True love is not possessive but it’s protective when it should be. EdSer is all of these things as they proved to us again and again. True love is daring to be without the one we love when we think it’s better for them. That’s why it’s not dependent. That’s why when we are truly loved we are empowered, stronger and we feel we have the licence to be exactly who we are.
Episode #14: Despair
On the surface this episode is Serkan’s struggle to come to terms with the fact that his father is responsible for the death of Eda’s parents. For a couple who had only just confessed their love to one another 2 episodes ago, this is a cruel blow and we as the viewer struggle with Serkan. Should he tell Eda or hide it a bit longer and how will Eda react?
On one side their love is just blossoming and they’re completely adorable buying each other gifts and flirting constantly. On the other side we are not comfortable with it because we know Serkan is hurting. I have to say Kerem’s portrayal of Serkan’s inner battle was brilliant in this episode. That’s why although we didn’t agree with his final decision when the episode ended we were still empathetic towards him. I wish the new writing team studied these early episodes better. If they had done that maybe the amnesia Serkan wouldn’t feel so hollow and flat.
Serkan is not the only one in despair. Selin has to face the consequences of her prior indifference to Ferit’s feelings. That’s why she is not only left at the wedding by him but she also has transferred most of her shares to Efe plus she needs to work in the same office with Ferit. As if this is not enough Ferit starts showing an interest in Ceren. Her normal choice would be to leave but Serkan asks her to stay and says he needs her help in this situation because he sees Efe as a peril to the company.
Life may throw us in situations that seem like there’s no way out. At the time I was watching the episode I interpreted his behavior as being protective but speaking from today, it was a reflection of his fear of abandonment. He was actually protecting himself too. An important lesson in true love. Even with our ugliest sides we must be willing to expose them to the one we love. If they leave us, even if we hurt we will at least know that they were not worthy of our love. The episode ends in the most heartbreaking way, teaching us an important lesson in true love and how not to deal with despair.
Episode #15: Rise
The first time I watched episode 15 I can’t say I enjoyed it that much. It was painful to watch EdSer suffer so much. Now that we are at 36 and have been educated on how to endure watching our favorite couple suffer, I’m able to appreciate it more.
How Eda takes the breakup in this episode is commendable. Hande’s acting was sincere, open and brilliant. Although we know Serkan is in pain too, we focus more on Eda and respect this strong woman who chooses to stand up for herself. Instead of running away she accepts Efe’s offer and starts working with him. She decides to go back to school, now that she can afford to go back with her new salary. If there’s one thing Efe did it was to contribute to Eda’s professional confidence. Not that Serkan didn’t want to do that, but Efe’s approach was more effective. He was also someone Eda really looked up to. This episode we watch Eda’s rise from the collapse she had to go through. I think Rupi Kaur’s poem I mentioned in the beginning really resonates with this episode.
Serkan makes some important decisions too. He decides to move out and he cuts his ties with his father. Unlike Eda’s these are questionable decisions, taken out of desperation. He tries to dispose of everything that belongs to Eda, he tries to get over her but he quickly accepts that it’s not possible. Finally he supports Eda’s professionalism and tries to help her.
Eda’s growth in this episode is refreshing and sends the perfect message to women. The most important thing in life is not a relationship, it’s you and your life. It’s getting a proper education and having a job which will allow you to stand on your own feet. Partners may come and go, you may fall in love, you can be crazy in love, you may get your heart broken, but you will rise back from where you fell. You can always get up and start working on yourself. Heartbreak is not the end of the world.
Episode #16: Recovery
Another episode I underappreciated at the time because I was too upset with EdSer being apart. I sometimes forget, life is full of lessons and each difficulty we face leaves us wiser. When we start accepting the cards we’re dealt with, and rise to the occasion and take action, that’s when our recovery starts. When we play the victim and expect other people’s empathy, we only delay our recovery.
Lots of things happen this episode. Looking back, I love the addition of Efe to the cast, especially this episode he really shines. I generally love how this character is written and of course Ali Ersan Duru has done a great job with him. Efe really empowered Eda without harassing her or effecting her in any negative way. He served his purpose in the best way. In the beginning of the episode EdSer is still struggling with the memory of their short lived relationship. It’s heartbreaking but also necessary to make them see what they have lost. Especially for Serkan, it’s important for him to realize what he gave up on.
Aydan finally seeks therapy and although those scenes were not necessarily realistic, they showed us everyone can start their recovery in different ways. The girls went out to have fun, the guys gathered to play video games and finally they all met at Pırıl’s birthday party. Recovery is basically holding on to life. Trying our best to keep up and trying to have some fun along the way. It’s really not something we should always take very seriously. In the end it’s about feeling better.
Serkan’s general attitude is, “it is what it is”. His parents are like that too. They are not used to pushing limits or forcing things. When Serkan refuses to make peace with him, Alptekin is willing to accept it, he doesn’t try to reason with him. Aydan is sad that Serkan refuses to forgive Alptekin but she doesn’t insist and respects his decisions. Bolats pull back easily in relationships they don’t want to force anything. Eda on the other hand is more empathetic about what is not said. Her emotional intelligence is higher therefore she feels that Serkan’s actions and emotions don’t match.
Their confrontation about the tree is a reflection of this difference. Serkan says the decision has been made and there’s nothing to do about it. Eda insists that there is always something that can be done. If Eda faced the same challenge Serkan faced about their relationship she would have handled it differently. She would have chosen to be honest about it. Serkan’s delayed confrontation about the truth will delay his recovery where Eda has been open about her frustration and sadness therefore she was able to deal with this situation in a much more mature way than Serkan. Recovery is only possible if we’re honest about what’s wrong with us.
Episode #17: Perspective
It takes a fresh pair of eyes to really see something. The circumstances we find ourselves in may blind us to the truth. Love changes us, gives us a new perspective on things because we try to see from our beloved’s eyes too. We try to understand where they’re coming from. We learn to empathize with them and with others too. That’s why romantic robot Serkan became a better man after he met Eda. That’s why Eda who planned nothing became more professional.
Just like Aydan wandering through London streets with her VR glasses, sometimes we need to see differently too. Like Ceren taking Ferit to the shelter to show him, there are many other dogs that he can adopt instead of fighting over Çirkin with Selin. What we understand depends on our perspective, sometimes we see what we want to believe. Like Serkan thinking Eda is pregnant.
It takes a fresh and loving pair of eyes to see the truth. That’s why only Eda knew the roof blowing up couldn’t be Serkan’s fault. When no one trusted him it was Eda who knew he could never make a mistake like that. Love changes us and changes our perspective on things. That’s why we love EdSer’s love because we get to watch them evolve with each hardship.
Dear reader, thanks for reading so far. How does it feel looking back at EdSer with a fresh set of eyes and also with the knowledge of what they will go through? Lots of controversial things are on their way for episode 36, many of us are worried about where the story is headed. As always I decided to look on the bright side of it. Finally they’re back together. Even though the story has not been cohesive, we can say that everything that they have been through has made them see new things to admire in each other and that’s a good thing, right? Before I say goodbye I’m leaving you a song here to cleanse your soul before the new episode comes.
Let me know how you feel about this piece and the show in general. I’m @edsavaseri on Twitter. Our interactions on there bring me lots of joy, so please do share your thoughts with me. Have a great day wherever you are in the world right now. Sending you good vibes from a pink skied Istanbul night.
-Eda
