Son Yaz - Why Do We Hurt The Ones We Love?
“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Manon, Ballerina
I don’t think anyone would want to hurt someone they love. I’d like to believe they wouldn’t. Sadly, we all do it sometimes and probably that’s why the saying “love hurts” exists. Sometimes, a person who doesn’t dare to get hurt can deprive themselves of the beauty of love. I don’t blame them. It’s not always easy to love, it makes us vulnerable, but in the end, it’s always worth it.
Episode 5 of Son Yaz is titled “Bad Boy” and since Akgün is the protagonist, it makes me think it refers to him and his actions on the episode. However when we look at this episode, Akgün is hardly the only one to do some bad deeds. They all hurt someone. As it is said, we all are the monster in someone else’s story, whether we want it or not. Sometimes we unintentionally hurt someone, sometimes it’s out of despise, jealousy or protectiveness.
A Complicated Relationship
Last episode was a milestone in Akgün and Selim’s relationship. Selim finally started to trust Akgün and this made Akgün feel good about himself, but on their way back home to meet the rest of the Kara family and get the results to Yağmur’s university exam, they stopped at the gas station. This is how Ahmet revealed to Akgün that Selim threatened his late mother to testify against Selçuk. This is not the exact truth but since Selim didn’t give Akgün the second part of his mother’s letter, Akgün believed this claim.
As a consequence, in episode 5 he wants to avenge Selim for hurting his mother. Akgün is very sensitive about his mom so this lie draws him and Selim apart in a really heartbreaking way. Selim immediately senses something is wrong but Akgün assures him that he’s just having a hard time seeing them so happy together as a family while he never had one. Selim seems like he believes this lie but he’s the type of man that doubts everything, so we know he will keep this data and piece together everything once he has more evidence.
It’s endearing to watch Selim try to get closer to Akgün by confiding in him with his private life and Akgün being unable to act uninterested. In his heart he knows he already started to care and love this family too much. This is pointed out by Soner when Akgün asks his help to conspire against Selim on the police raid. In the kitchen as they are stirring the Pepeçura, Selim tells Akgün his mixed feelings about the divorce. Akgün is great at analyzing people and he asks Selim if he’s jealous of Fatih. I’m sure if he wasn’t so mad at Selim he would ask more questions and get to the heart of the matter.
Unfortunately Akgün’s anger clouds his judgement. Even when Selim tells him that he shouldn’t feel left out during family gatherings, that if he just stays closer to Selim he would have more to things to add, Akgün doesn’t take his words by heart. He now sees Selim as someone who caused his mother stress, so much so that he got to see very little of her even when she was alive, she was always sick and had to stay away from him. He blames Selim for everything. In that sense Akgün is a bit narrow minded, like a little soldier to whom you appoint a target and he marches without ever questioning why. Halil Sadi knows very well that family, especially his mom is Akgün’s weak spot and he uses that against him each time.
Friends to Enemies
Akgün’s behavior towards Yağmur changes too. He doesn’t confide in her this time which is understandable considering he’s plotting against her father. He tells her to keep away from him, that he’s not good for her. He acts like he doesn’t care about her but can’t stop himself when he sees the man who ordered the shooting in the second episode entering the night club Yağmur is at. It’s Yağmur who stops Akgün from killing the man while he keeps hitting him at the bathroom floor. He warns her again, telling her he’s a criminal and if she knew what he’s capable of she would stay away from him.
Normally Yağmur is very observant and intelligent but this episode she’s a bit startled by Akgün’s hostile behavior. She also has her hands full because of the discovery she made about Selim threatening Fatih to cancel the case with Canan. She also discovers something about herself, her jealousy, which is unnerving! Up until this episode Yağmur and Akgün have been confidants and good friends. This episode because Akgün starts acting all weird, Yağmur has to face her feelings which she didn’t know existed.
Akgün’s only reasoning behind treating Yağmur this way is not his newborn anger for Selim. It’s also what he saw at the end of the 4th episode. He helped Yağmur and Kaan unite and for him Yağmur is something he can’t have anyway. So why bother chasing her around? Although his protective side can’t help but beat up the guy who tried to shoot her.
No matter how hard they try, in the end they can’t keep away from each other. When Yağmur sees Akgün with their friend Gözde (or Gökçe?) she feels jealous and starts acting completely irrationally. That night after she sends her home, Akgün confronts her and he challenges her to describe what love is. Her description paints a picture and he doesn’t hesitate to point out she’s describing him and them. She doesn’t accept it and says it’s Kaan she’s describing. When he tries to kiss her, she slaps him and runs away.
I know this does look like a fight but it was also a declaration of love on both their sides. Akgün made Yağmur see that he doesn’t care for other girls (hence saying the girl’s name wrong multiple times knowingly) now but he has the capacity to be with someone else. Yağmur realized she could really have to watch Akgün with another girl someday, and she felt that she had something to lose. Even though it was unintentional he also deprived her of his friendship which made her feel lonely and made her miss him. Akgün was all like “have a happy life with Kaan” up until this moment. By realizing her feelings for him, and also channeling his bad boy energy, he became a bit bolder and tried to kiss her. Imagine having a crush on someone who could be taken from you anytime, wouldn’t you obsess over them. I know I would.
Are Our Loved Ones Really Ours?
One of the reasons I love Canan and Yağmur’s mother-daughter relationship is because Canan treats Yağmur as her equal. Maybe it’s because they kind of grew up together. Canan doesn’t pressure Yağmur into being successful or getting good grades, or about her boyfriend or even about Akgün. On the other hand Emel is the opposite. She constantly criticizes Naz of not having studied enough or for being too vain and only thinking about partying and looking good.
Emel has a point, Metin does spoil Naz a little but it’s also wrong to make your own daughter feel like a failure. Criticism especially done in the way Emel does, always backfires. Kids need as much space as adults. Parents need to respect their capacity or their desires. I’m not a parent myself but as someone who has been a kid, I can say that getting validation from your parents is very important and when it’s not given by them freely, you start seeking it elsewhere, just like Naz does with her social media.
I think the writers hit the nail on the head in the scene where as soon as Metin leaves the room, Naz turns back to her social media to check the likes on her post. It’s not enough to have one supportive parent when both are alive. Both parents need to participate in ingraining values and self discipline in their kid. In this case both Metin and Emel want the wellbeing of Naz but Metin is also trying to make up for the lack of compassion on Emel’s side.
Selim loves his family very much but he has a controlling attitude just like Emel. This is why he tells Fatih he doesn’t want him to work with Canan. This is why the minute he finds out Yağmur has been accepted to law school he starts lecturing her about the classes she should take to become a prosecutor. He’s affectionate, he wants the best for them, but his definition of the best is what he thinks is best. That’s crossing boundaries right there. In this journey Selim will have to learn to respect Canan, Akgün, Yağmur and Altay’s decisions.
He can’t say or show it but Soner clearly has a crush on Naz. He manipulates Eray into playing a little game and he shows up at the date instead of Eray. As if this is not enough, he insults her by saying they should get comfortable not even having her consent for the date. But as Metin tells Naz later, guys are really intimated by girls they like. In this scene Soner was trying to get the upper hand with Naz, which didn’t end well on his side. :) Nothing quite as satisfying as throwing your drink on someone else’s face.
The Bigger Disappointment Is The Bigger Revenge
The ending of the episode is bitter. Selim falls in his own trap because he thinks Fatih has told Canan about the job but actually he told Canan about Akgün’s identity. Before she leaves with in a fully enraged state, she tells him, see you at court. For a couple who flirted this entire episode, Selim’s expression while the credits roll is exactly how we feel. Sad and disappointed.
Akgün is so desperate to take his mother’s revenge from Selim, he even collaborates with Soner, his nemesis. He takes great joy in seeing Selim break down, feeling humiliated and also blamed for an unsuccessful police raid. This is surely not good for Selim’s career and reputation. I feel like his anger is doubled because he trusted Selim so much. If he found about that photo with Selim and his mom before he bonded so much with Selim, maybe he wouldn’t feel so betrayed and angry.
Everybody Hurts Somebody
There are two sides to every story and when Akgün hears that Canan knows about their family tragedy he tears up. Of course Canan doesn’t know Akgün is that kid she saw. Their conversation here once again shows Canan is very open and honest about her mistakes. She says she blames herself too because she allowed Selim to act the way he did. So a woman married to a criminal is just as guilty if she didn’t do anything about it. If Akgün read the other half of his mother’s letter, he’d know that his mother did her best as an honest woman. However during this conversation he’s not yet equipped with the necessary information.
Fatih is such an insensitive jerk. When the business deal is broken off and Serap can’t get any compensation because the contract was not notarized, Fatih doesn’t care what this means for her. For him it’s just a minor detail not a matter of life and death. For someone who claims to be a friend, he’s really disturbing to watch in this scene.
Soner and Eray are not really friends. Just a little while ago he was threatening him and now that has turned to bullying him. To the extent that he tells him he’s not the one to meet Naz. Bullies do what they do. Soner doesn’t know how to love and care for people. He will have to stick around more and witness it to change his behavior. For now he’s just a bully to Eray but as he sees on the date with Naz, you can’t force someone to like you.
We always end up hurting our loved ones. Well, we can’t help it. We just can’t. Our loved ones are usually the closest to us in those moments that we can’t contain our emotions. They’re the ones that hurt us the most too. Sometimes we just want to get even. Sometimes we forget they too have a heart. Other times, we know they will forgive us. Coming from the future, if you haven’t seen the episodes after this one, you’re in for a treat. That’s what I love about Son Yaz. People change, as they experience things, their opinions of each other change. And our opinions about them change too.
That’s exactly how it is in real life. We make mistakes, we break hearts, we get ours broken. But we make up and we go on. Sometimes, we go our separate ways and that’s part of life too. In the end what is important is to love and to be loved, to cherish being loved and show that we love others.
All in all a great episode that challenged me to think why and how we hurt others, especially the ones we love. Can it be avoided? Not always. We’ll have to keep watching to see how broken hearts can be mended, I’m sure the writers have ideas.
Dear reader, thank you for reading so far. What episode are you on? Who is your favorite character? Are you enjoying the show as much as I do? Until now, Son Yaz has done no wrong in my book. The 2 week Covid break was a real bummer. Hopefully we will meet again this Friday, the trailer and preview blew my mind. Let me know what you think about this article or the show in general, find me as @edsavaseri on Twitter. I’m always delighted to read your comments. Hope you have a great day, wherever you are in the world right now. Sending you good vibes from a warm day in Istanbul.