“And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when”
But we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then”
Cats In The Cradle - Song: Harry Chapin Lyrics: Sandra Gaston
Some people would like to believe that in life we only regret what we haven’t done. I get the motivational approach behind this but really, the regret we feel for some of the things we have done, might really haunt us more. It is true that we feel sorry about missed opportunities or lost chances but the sadness we feel for having hurt others is perhaps the hardest thing to overcome.
The 6th episode of Son Yaz is named “From the Edge of Love”. It takes its name from the MFÖ (it’s the name of the band) song that plays at the end of the episode. I will tell more about it towards the end of this review. This is yet again a wonderful episode that forces us to face our own fears, griefs and regrets. Leaving us a lot of food for thought but also a deep understanding of our own souls as well as others’.
Everything Falls Apart
Cats in The Cradle is a great song and really came to my mind after I watched the episode. The reason I thought about it because it’s the story of a man who didn’t spend enough time with his son and when he gets older, this time his son doesn’t have enough time to spend with him. The son becomes like his father, as he says in the song “I’m gonna be like you dad”. It’s a song that makes me feel the deep regret of a parent who neglected his kid unintentionally and he later finds out that his son turns out to be just like him.
In life we learn that pain is mostly inevitable and as Canan says in this episode, we sometimes think that we have already forgiven someone only to find out later that we really haven’t. Let’s dig deeper and remember what happened throughout the episode.
The episode starts with high tension scenes between Canan and Selim. Canan is fuming. After finding out the truth about who Akgün is and also that Selim was behind Fatih pulling back his job proposal, Canan decides to take the kids and move to her sister’s house. This brings back some memories from 6 years ago and these memories keep coming back throughout the episode, revealing new information with each flashback.
Yağmur and Altay are shocked by Canan’s anger towards Selim. She doesn’t listen to anyone and she even lashes out at Akgün in a hurtful way. When Yağmur tries to reason with her mother, Canan accuses her of being like her dad although she brags about being a mommy’s girl. Selim is helpless with this new situation he finds himself in. He’s aware of Canan’s justified anger but can’t accept her moving from the house. He reluctantly signs the divorce papers and finds out the case will be held in court only in 2 days.
Canan goes to the office, breaks everything, cries her heart out and starts gathering her stuff. Yağmur and later Selim try to reason with her but she is too angry with Selim to accept any help from him, let alone stay in an office that he pays the rent for. I must say Funda Eryiğit in this episode is something else. Her anger is so palpable, so brutal. Some Youtube comments under the episode video accuse her character of being too cruel, too mean to Selim and towards Akgün. As the episode proceeds we get to understand what lies beneath this anger and resentment towards Selim.
Selim’s helplessness in front of Canan is heart shattering. Ali Atay makes us feel Selim’s vulnerability so well. In two scenes especially, the one in Canan’s office and the one where he talks to Akgün about his feelings. In this episode you want to help Selim, give him a hug and say everything will be okay. But it goes without saying, you want to do the same for Canan too. When we as the viewers find out about how Canan lost her child, we understand why she’s so infuriated about finding out how Selim acted in the past and caused her stress and anxiety.
Selim’s behavior towards Canan in the past is to be considered psychological violence. Maybe he didn’t intend to do it but he did it. He forced Canan to participate in a life style and environment she didn’t feel safe in and she didn’t feel her children were safe. Instead of putting his family first he made his priority his job and his title. In the end his solution is to distance himself from his family for their protection but this causes his relationship with his wife and kids to come to a breaking point.
When Selim asks Canan in the office, “what have I done to you?” Canan doesn’t reply and kicks Selim out of the office. After all these years she still can’t pronounce what was the price of what happened. It’s only at the end of the episode that Selim and the audience find out exactly what happened. The sad thing is that Canan blames herself too. As she tells her sister Emel she feels that she wasn’t strong enough to tell Selim how she felt because she was afraid of losing him.
“You Are Really Something Else”
Last episode was all about Akgün’s revenge plans and how he collaborates with Soner to bring down Selim’s case against Halil Sadi. Because of his anger and his rude behavior his friendship with Yağmur comes almost to an end. Until he tries to kiss her that night on the beach and gets slapped by her. The next day he acts as if he doesn’t remember it at all. When he asks Yağmur if he has done something wrong, she doesn’t tell him anything.
This episode Akgün still tries to help Soner and to act as a snitch but he’s also taken aback by all the drama the Kara family is facing. He can’t stay out of it and thankfully we get to see his comforting talks with Altay, Yağmur and Selim. Akgün is gifted with great insight and strong common sense and also a unique understanding of the human soul.
When Altay runs away from home and Yağmur and Akgün find him at the beach about to sail away in a windy weather, Akgün sits down with Altay and asks him how he feels. He tells Altay how he himself dealt with his emotions as a kid. He says that he used to dig a hole on the ground and he shouted and cried his pain into the hole and then closed it. Yağmur listens to their conversation intently watching Akgün doing something she herself could not have done. Because she is also in pain she’s not able to comfort Altay. They are both struggling with their parents’ divorce.
Later, when Akgün and Selim are at home, once again we see how good of a listener Akgün is. He forgets his anger towards Selim at this point and he’s very much affected by this family tragedy rolling before his eyes. He doesn’t blame Canan for a second of this. Akgün is well aware that even though he’s not guilty, Canan’s fear of his world and the dangers are very real because he lost his own mom during a shooting that targeted his father.
Selim says he still loves Canan and he’s heartbroken because he hoped that they would make up, they even kissed the other day. However at the law office, Canan calls him a big disappointment and reduces him to only being the father of her children and nothing else.
In all this family drama, Selim pursues the drug traffic in the port and tries to find the hidden drugs and all episode Akgün accompanies him and tries to stop him from finding them. This cat and mouse chase gives way to the comedic scenes in the episode and they come as a relief as it’s an emotionally charged episode. It’s remarkable how dedicated Selim is to his job but we also can see that this dedication has cost him his family as narrated in the song Cats in the Cradle.
The most endearing scene for me was the scene at the beach where Akgün and Yağmur talk. He tries to get her to get real about how she feels. He tells her it’s normal to get angry to kick and fight sometimes and when she says she wants to give it a try, he’s willing to take it like a man but he doesn’t know she used to do karate as a kid. It’s a hilarious scene as they end up on the ground, Yağmur on top of Akgün, both of them laughing, him amazed by her uniqueness and says, “Can one be surprised by everything another does? You’re really something else!” She laughs it off and walks away. What a badass. :)
When Canan sees them from afar and gets mad at Yağmur for spending time with Akgün despite her saying not to, Yağmur says he’s the only friend who listens. When Canan tells her to talk to someone else, Yağmur replies that Akgün understands without her having to tell. They really have a bond already and they understand each other perfectly without patronizing in any way. They are not afraid of each other’s anger or honesty. They are not afraid of challenging each other and they always stand up for each other.
This is a great couple in the making. I also enjoyed Yağmur standing up for Naz and taking the gifts to throw at Soner’s face. When Akgün shows up and sees her at Eray’s place with Soner he immediately becomes protective of her. Soner teases Akgün saying he’s in love with her. It’s quite funny, but we already know he is.
We All Have Regrets
In this episode, we don’t only observe Selim or Canan’s regrets about the past. Other characters are fighting similar demons too. Eray tells Naz that Soner is a dangerous man and he didn’t allow him to meet with Naz instead of him that night. Soner wants to apologize to Naz for what he did that night but after hearing from Eray that Soner is a dangerous guy, Naz doesn’t even want to listen to him and she shows genuine fear when he approaches her.
So again whatever we choose to do, follows us around as our reputation and how we treat others becomes part of our brand. Later, Soner shows up at the restaurant with gifts (he buys everything in the shop window Naz was looking at). But it doesn’t work because gifts can’t replace a genuine apology.
Kaan finds out about their financial problems overhearing a conversation Serap is having with Metin and he gets angry with his mom for not telling him about it. In the heat of the argument he accuses his mom for not managing their finances well enough and says if his father was alive he would do a better job at it. He does apologize later but again what we say has a weight and words can’t be taken back. They can only be forgiven and that’s what Serap does as an understanding mother.
Still dwelling on the past, Canan tells Emel she wishes she were more like her, more dominant, more in control. That’s when Emel makes a confession to her sister, saying Metin cheated on her once 10 years ago with an employee who was a single mom and she forgave him. When I heard that, my mind immediately went back to Metin insisting on helping Serap so much, even lending her money. Will Metin try something with Serap? If he has a hero complex, Serap is the damsel in distress at the moment and he really looks like he wants to desperately help. If he tries something, will Emel forgive him again or will she regret forgiving him 10 years ago thinking he would never do it again?
Is It Regret Or Is It Grief?
When the truth about what happened 6 years ago is revealed, our hearts sink. Scared by some guy from the mafia getting too close to them in a supermarket Canan takes the kids and comes to Çeşme to Emel and Metin’s home for safety. After a few weeks, Selim comes to pick them up and even reproaches Canan for saying they would only stay there a few days. Canan suggests to move to Çeşme but he doesn’t even want to hear it.
Canan is pregnant at the time and doesn’t yet tell Selim about it. She even thinks of a name for their third kid, Deniz (which means sea in Turkish). After they get back to Istanbul she goes to the doctor for a check and finds out she had a miscarriage due to stress as the baby’s heart stopped beating. Canan never tells anything to Selim but soon after moves away with the kids.
The night before their divorce suit, Selim sends Canan a message, saying he doesn’t want to divorce and that he will say no when the judge asks. However his opinion changes the next day on his way to the court, when he accidentally hears Canan was pregnant 6 years ago and had a miscarriage because of his behavior. At the court when the judge asks if he wants to get divorced he says yes, which denies what he wrote in the message the night before. For Canan it’s just one of his whims because she doesn’t know yet that Selim heard her conversation with Yağmur in Fatih’s car.
In another interesting scene, we see how Yağmur feels about the divorce as she recalls a memory of her mom talking to her aunt saying she shouldn’t have married for love. If she listened to reason instead of her heart she wouldn’t be miserably crying to her sister now. It’s interesting that after she recalls this memory, Yağmur calls Kaan and they share a sweet moment on the phone saying I love you etc. But we understand that Yağmur sees Kaan as the reasonable and safe choice. The one who will not bring her misery like her father brought to her mom.
Once I’ve read somewhere that divorce is considered as a kind of grief that’s as strong as the grief one feels after the death of a loved one. Sometimes the sorrow felt after a divorce is stronger than the one after death, perhaps because death means that person is taken from us but divorce means that person chooses to continue life without us in some way. Divorce affects everyone in the family, the kids as much as the parents.
The song choice at the end of the episode complements the heavy feeling of having lost someone. Especially the line, “I got tired of hurting you”, is how Selim must be feeling about Canan. He gives up because he knows he can’t atone what he has done to her and she can’t atone having kept something like that from him. You can listen to the full song below and read more about MFÖ here. I included below a translation of the song lyrics from the part they played in the episode.
From The Edge Of Love — Song By MFÖ
You appear in my dreams
You’re deceiving me, it’s obvious
Suddenly I wake up I’m alone, I feel so sad
Cells can’t let themselves go
Just when you’re about to take a sigh
Separation is good if you will come back soon
Separation is good if you will come back soon
Everyone took a piece of me away
I stopped saying “I”, I got tired of hurting you
If I atone you a little while I pass from the edge of love
I know each and every one of these episode recaps turn into a love letter to Son Yaz but this episode again is almost like a study of how we act and react in difficult situations and how things that are unaddressed in the past come haunting us as regret. Sometimes no one and everyone is wrong. Sometimes we think we got over something and that we forgave someone but just a small thing can trigger us and we find ourselves back where we left off years ago.
It’s always okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated and to share these feelings. It’s okay to kick and hit and even hurt each other just as Akgün says, we all need it, even if it’s only metaphorically, we need to share our feelings instead of bottling them up like Canan. Because the hurt of something happening right now can be healed but something that has been unsaid or left unhealed in the past will find us later in life to hurt us even more.
Dear reader, thank you for reading so far. Tonight we say goodbye to Son Yaz for the summer. I am full of feelings. I’m also hoping for a not too tragic season finale. One where none of the leading characters are killed etc. But I also feel like they will leave us hanging, maybe they will end with the accident and leave us wondering who survives it etc. I will keep writing these. It will probably take me until September to finish these anyway. Thank you always for your kind comments, they always make my day. You can find me on Twitter as @edsavaseri. Hope you have a great day, wherever you are in the world right now. Sending you good vibes from a warm evening in Istanbul.