“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena
There are two ways in which you can lose someone. You can lose them terminally to an irreversible event such as death or you can lose them because of a conflict or disagreement. This could be something like divorce or someone you love moving away. Death seems to be the worst kind of loss but the amount of pain we feel after losing someone is also dependent on how we deal with that loss and how much support we have while doing that.
Episode 8 of Son Yaz is named “Hoşçakal” which actually should have been spelled “Hoşça Kal”. Hoşça kal means goodbye, but it’s a more explanatory phrase. Hoşça kal is only said by the person who is leaving and word by word translates into “stay well”. In this episode as always we get to observe the characters struggling with many humanly conditions and emotions but predominantly they deal with their fears of losing the ones they love. If I didn’t love each and every episode of Son Yaz, I would say, it’s one of the best episodes.
The Weight of Canan’s Guilt
After witnessing Latif’s death, Canan feels a lot of guilt because she was the one to convince his wife Banu to contact him to come out of his hiding. Because it wasn’t ethical to include his wife in the case Selim tells Canan to not tell anyone about this. Canan is already the type that keeps her problems to herself and this causes her to break. Fortunately Yağmur knows her mother well and even though Selim and Canan try to make everyone think she’s depressed because of Selim, Yağmur senses it’s something else.
Despite Selim’s protests Canan goes to see Banu to give her condolences but as it’s expected Banu is furious with both Canan and Selim (who happens to be there to stop Canan). This breaks Canan’s heart even more, to see how Banu and her baby’s (Deniz) lives are ruined. Selim tries to tell her that it’s not her fault because Latif was already walking a very thin rope and he was not a completely innocent man. This doesn’t help Canan to feel any relief. When she gets drunk at the girls’ night and is found outside the restaurant by Akgün, Selim and Yağmur take her home.
As a newly divorced couple they fall back into their old habits by muscle memory. Selim just listens and observes Canan and this makes her feel like he is coping with death a lot better than she is. Obviously Selim has seen more cases and more people getting killed and falling victim to their own life choices. But this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Only when he thinks Canan has fallen asleep he admits that he was at the funeral house to do the same thing Canan wanted to do, to console Banu, but he didn’t have the guts to face Banu like Canan had.
I feel like Latif’s death -apart from feeling guilty over it- really made Canan face her own fears of losing her family and loved ones. Witnessing death is always shocking. Consider how much we are affected even when watching movies and a character we love dies(!). What’s so endearing about her having a hard time dealing with it though is how she fakes to be asleep to hear Selim’s confession of his love for her.
Simple things as wanting to touch a mole can feel adorable and sexy at the same time. Mundane things like removing someone’s socks before putting them to bed feel affectionate and full of love in this scene. It’s the thought behind the action that transforms that act. Canan reaching out to Selim in a playful way and Selim remembering that Canan hates sleeping with socks may seem like small details but they make us melt because they feel real. In the end Canan doesn’t all of a sudden feel free from her guilt. That’s more realistic because we don’t heal from feelings like that so easily anyway.
Can’t Let Him Go, Can’t Tell Him To Stay
Yağmur goes through a phase in this episode in which she comes to terms with her feelings for Akgün. At first she has difficulty explaining to him how come she cares so much for his well being. She doesn’t want to accept that he did something wrong and she is worried Soner might harm him. He keeps questioning her why she went to see Soner and she keeps questioning him further on why he has a gun. What I love about Yağmur is that she’s very intuitive. She senses that Akgün is trapped or in trouble and that he’s afraid of something and can’t say it to not disappoint Selim. On the other hand Akgün senses that Yağmur has feelings for him but she’s not yet ready to acknowledge her own feelings.
As a newcomer Akgün gives the impression that he could be leaving any minute, so Yağmur struggles with her fear of losing him. But he also struggles with the fact that he betrayed Selim’s trust and worked as Halil Sadi’s informant and later in the episode he finds out that Latif is killed. If Latif stayed in custody of Selim, he probably wouldn’t be killed.
When Akgün and Selim go to Istanbul to attend Selçuk Taşkın’s funeral, Yağmur feels for his him. She waits for his return with tears and when he enters the house she hugs him and tries to comfort him. Of course she doesn’t know that Selçuk isn’t dead and this allows for a very endearing scene where they keep hugging while Akgün smiles mischievously. Akgün almost feeds from Yağmur’s compassion which is something he only got from his mother until he met Yağmur. Of course in the end he tells her the truth and she kind of gets mad at him but only to hug him back just as tight.
When they sit down to talk, Akgün tells her he’ll go to Istanbul but he admits that it’s not his dream anymore and that he has another dream but it’s impossible. Yağmur suggests he stays but she can’t really back up this suggestion because she can’t tell him that she wants him to stay. However she does succeed in getting to him by asking if he got himself into something he can’t get out of. She can see his regret and tells him that whatever it is that he did, Selim will eventually forgive him. And just before she flees, she lets him know, although not explicitly, that she knows what his dream is and he may be able to reach it.
Yağmur’s battle with her feelings ends with her acceptance of them and her cousin Naz and Kaan play a great role in it. Naz tells Yağmur that she’s not ending things with Kaan because she’s using her relationship to try and get over her feelings for Akgün. Kaan also insinuates that she has feelings for Akgün. At the end of the episode Yağmur tells Kaan things are over between them because she understands that she can’t go on like this. I think her heart to heart talk with Canan is helpful too.
When she tells Canan she can’t admit her own feelings to herself, Canan tells her that’s 18 years old for you right there. For anyone who has been judging Yağmur for handling two guys at the same time, that’s your answer. Stop judging, we have all been there. It’s not always easy to come to terms with our feelings especially when we have feelings for someone we didn’t expect to fall for. Also, we have all been young and it’s complicated to move from adolescence to adulthood.
The Father He Has And The Father He Wants
As Selim describes it, by the little game they play with Selçuk’s fake death, Akgün lives the worst day of his life. Poor thing, they really let him believe Selçuk has died and make him go through the whole burying thing as well. That’s why when he sees that his father is alive he is shocked but of course relieved and happy. It’s one of the rare occasions that Selçuk shows compassion for his son because he’s really touched by Akgün’s love for him. Honestly men are so dumb! Of course he loves you Selçuk Bey, you are his father.
The fake death allows us to see how much Akgün feared that his father would die when he was a child. People like us who are far from the criminal world, would not be able to relate to having a father that could get killed any minute. To lose a parent is hard already, add onto that losing your mother to a gunshot and having a father who is constantly at risk, I’m surprised Akgün grew up to be the man he is. Interestingly enough Selim is not different in having a life at risk at all times and Canan probably did the right thing to take her kids and move away from him and his world. This allowed them to grow in a much safer and kinder world than Akgün did.
To Akgün’s heartbreak, Selim really starts to see him as a son in this episode. He confides in Akgün and tells him that he asked to be transferred to İzmir so that he can stay with his family. He tells him about Latif being killed and how Canan feels. He treats Akgün as an older son, one that he can still be a father to but also one that is mature enough that he can confide in and share his troubles with. This normally would make Akgün ecstatic but he feels guilty for having let Selim down and also afraid that the truth will eventually come out and that Selim will find out about him being the informant. That’s why he insists on going back to Istanbul and says that now that everyone thinks his father is dead, no one will go after him. In the end, Selim has to agree with his decision reluctantly.
Selim and Akgün’s relationship is one we are not really used to seeing on our screens. Male friendships and father and son relationships usually don’t get enough screen time as much as couples. It’s a pleasure to observe how Akgün is like a young Selim in some ways and probably it’s one of the reasons Selim desperately wants to help him and can’t let him go. Everyone has a different love language and Akgün’s is probably quality time, which is something he probably didn’t/couldn’t get with Selçuk. Selim compensates that. They have real conversations and Akgün can really pick Selim’s brains on things. It’s not difficult to see how he sees Selim as a role model.
This episode we really get to see how Selim is there for Akgün. Even though he knows the whole funeral thing is for make believe, he lets Akgün live his pain and watches how he reacts to his father being killed. He consoles Akgün and quietly stands by him without bothering him. We also see how Akgün doesn’t have many good memories of his father. It’s probably not because Selçuk doesn’t love his son but probably because he isn’t able to show it. As Akgün mentions once, he goes to extremes to celebrate his son’s birthdays and buys expensive gifts. However most of us appreciate quality time more than gifts and that’s something Akgün gets from Selim.
Akgün’s love for Selim makes it harder for him to risk losing his love and faith in him. On the other hand Selim is bothered by Akgün wanting to leave even though Selim gives him the assurance that he will support Akgün if he wants to go back to school and start a new life. Selim knows how easy it is for someone like Akgün to fall back into his old habits and ways. Akgün’s betrayal tears them apart because for Selim, as he stated unknowingly to Akgün, “betrayal is a big crime and has consequences”.
The episode ends on a heartbreaking note. Selim discovers that Akgün is the informant. The police raid on Akgün having shot Ahmet on the leg. Selim asks Akgün to tell him it wasn’t him, but Akgün has to tell him the truth. He says it was me and this time Selim is not hitting him or slapping him, he just cries and looks at him with a shattered heart. It’s only a betrayal if it’s done by someone you love and trust.
I live for acting moments like these when I forget that I’m watching something that is entirely fictional. Thanks to Son Yaz we get to experience an entirely new kind of relationship where we have two people who are not related by blood or anything but they really complete each other and share an incredible bond. One thing I hope from the second season of the series is that they protect Selim and Akgün’s bond.
A Song For Generations
The girls night at the restaurant features a very famous Turkish classical song which is sang by the ladies on the show but I’d like to share the original release with you and a bit about the artists behind this unforgettable song. The song’s original name is Sorma (Don’t Ask) and the lyrics and music is by Sezen Aksu, one of Turkey’s renowned song writers. She is one of the few legends of Turkish pop music of the 80s who are alive.
The song “Sorma” is in in Uşak makam which is one of the melody type systems of classical Turkish music. The first person to sing and release the song was Zeki Müren who is a Turkish singer, composer, actor and song writer. He is perhaps the most well known and respected classical Turkish music singer Turkey has ever known. His two nicknames are The Sun Of Art and Pasha (the title given to high rank Turkish officers).
Zeki Müren was born in 1931 and sadly passed away in 1996 due to a heart attack. It would not be wrong to say he died on the stage because at that minute (when he had the heart attack) he was on live television receiving an award. The song Sorma is from the album he released in 1992 with the same name. Turkey’s Pasha deserves a dedicated article (maybe some day) but here’s a lovely article I found which could shed some light on his interesting and adorable persona.
Here are the lyrics to the song as always translated by yours truly:
Listen to the original song here:
As you can tell, the song complements the scene perfectly. As the Son Yaz ladies start singing we see how Yağmur relates to the song’s lyrics and how she is coming to terms with her feelings as she’s singing it. What a lovely song to include in a love one has trouble accepting. Also what a way to salute a Turkish legend, Mr. Zeki Müren. May you rest peacefully now our beloved Pasha, sir, we still love and respect you very much. Your name will always be remembered with these beautiful songs of yours.
Dear reader, this episode was packed with events and if I could I would talk about many other scenes but I have to limit myself otherwise these articles would feel like short stories. Thank you for reading so far. As always please let me know your thoughts about this episode, this write up or the show in general. Son Yaz keeps its well earned place as my favorite dizi. Nowadays another show I’m enjoying a lot is Baht Oyunu and I penned a piece on it if you want to read, it’s here. Please find me on Twitter as @edsavaseri to comment, I love reading your comments and interacting with you. Have a great day wherever you are in the world right now. I’m sending you light and love from a sunny Muğla afternoon.